Questions

It's cold and quiet tonight. I can hear the sleet pinging against the window next to me on my left. I have the window open just a crack to let some cold night air into the bedroom. And I write from a laptop on a wooden folding dinner tray. LOL I like my little worspace. It's uncluttered. LOL

My husband is there in the bed to my right, breathing restlessly. I have the television volume on very low, and Animal Planet is on. The low lamp-light on my nightstand is on next to me.

There are things coming up soon and I'm unsure which way to go, or which way these events might bring me. The big magazine that I talked about a while back has been in touch with me and the editor-in-chief is taking me to lunch next week. It's the "in" I've been waiting for for almost three years, and I'm pulling ideas together to talk to her about, and to show her how passionate I am about what I do.

What I do is create.

But....then there's the movie studio, being built right here in the very town in which I live. It's a huge project, and I'm very excited about it, but it will take several years to be completed. I've already sent them a resume. But there's no guarantee they'll want me. In fact, there's no guarantee the magazine will want me either, but at least I can pitch myself.

So what do I do? Shall I pursue the possibility of working at a magazine that I've been chasing for several years? Is the time right? Will they pay me what I will ask? Are the kids still too young for me to be so far away? Who will drive them to soccer practice and CCD and skating? Who will go to the school events?

Hubby would gladly help, I have no doubt, but he has so much on his plate already. Is it fair to ask more of him? Or is it fair for me to keep on making such meager pay and putting so much financial responsibility on him? Should I stay where I am, close to home, close to the kids, until they're older? Or should I take a chance if it presents itself?

Sigh.

The future is uncertain for me at the moment. And I haven't touched my book in months, which I regret. I just haven't been into it at all these days.

We'll have to see what, if anything, next week brings. After that, one day at a time.