Positive Reinforcement

In my last entry, I talked about how I need a lot of positive reinforcement when it comes to writing. "Good job," or "nice work," goes a long, long way with me. It's like patting a dog's head or giving it a treat. Yes, in this situation, I am the dog. LOL But I think many writers are like that. I took a class a few weeks ago at the New England Press Association convention that comes to Boston every year, and the instructor's first sentence was, "All writers are insecure."

No shit.

Last night, my mother called me to tell me she received the copy of this week's column that I sent her and my father. They don't have a computer, and never will, so I cut out a copy of my column and stick it in the mail every other week. I'm happy to do it, really.

So last night, for the second time, she said she was so surprised at how well I write and that I had an undiscovered talent. As she said those words, again, I felt my hand tighten around the phone and my jaw clench tight. She went on to wonder, out loud, why she never knew I could write. Then she said, "Didn't you write some poem in high school?"

Some poem? Some poem.

"Mom," I said, "I wrote the graduating class poem. The one that was published in the yearbook. Don't you remember?"

"Oh," she said, sounding confused...or uninterested. Probably both. "But I still didn't know you could write."

"Don't you remember way back when I was in first grade, I wrote that story about the school blowing up?" I asked her.

"What?" she asked. "What school? Blowing up?" Christ, I thought, where the hell had she been my whole childhood?

"MY school, mom. Remember? The teachers and the principal made a big deal over how imaginitive it was? I actually probably scared them without realizing it."

"Oh, right. I think I remember that," she said, as if I were speaking another language.

"Mom, don't you remember also when I was in high school, I won that big spring writing festival contest?"

"You did?" she asked. "I don't remember that at all."

No shit.

"Well," I said. "Anyway, mom, I've been writing most of my life (whichyoushouldalreadyfookinknowbutdont). I like writing. Hopefully, people will keep on reading it."

"Good for you," she said. "You're very good at it."